I was working my happy hour shift at the Irish pub, and it was a fairly typical afternoon—a few regulars were sitting at the bar and on the patio while a couple other customers were scattered about the tables. As my relatively uneventful wound down and I began prep for the closer to come in, a scraggly-looking, long-bearded man stumbled in carrying a backpack, assisted by a cane. He was either a decent-looking 70-year-old or a rough 50.

After dropping his bag at the closest table, he approached the bar with a fist extended for an awkward knuckle pound while expressing, rather loudly, that I must be new because he didn't recognize me. I assured him I'd worked there for nearly a year.

When the Happy Hour Regular Isn’t Actually a Regular

Once he made sure that Guinness was, in fact, only $5 on happy hour, he took his beer to the patio (leaving his backpack unattended at a table) only to quickly return carrying one of the stools because "the damn thing is too wobbly." When I offered to take the stool from him, he explained that he had just been released from prison and didn't mind doing some work.

Since a shot of rumpleminz was "too damn much", the old man limped back to the table, struggling to get in the booth, but refusing to put down the cane or the Guinness. I turned my back with a "the shift's almost over" under my breath just in time to hear shattering glass behind me. No matter how many times I repeated "I got it!", he kept trying to clean it up.

The Entire Bar Starts Watching the Show

By this time, the entire bar had tracked that this guy was a character. I finally got the mess cleaned up, and the old man settled with a fresh beer. He thanked me and said it was nice to be back in his favorite booth and that before prison, he had sat in that exact booth every week for years.

The Booth That Didn’t Exist

The booth and table had been installed about two months prior, and there was nothing in their place before.

If this guy sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Stories like this are exactly why The Customer’s Wrongs exists. You can grab a copy and relive even more ridiculous bartender moments on the book page here.